When we got engaged back in May, I had absolutely no idea where to start or what the planning process had in store. I wasn’t one of those girls that grew up dreaming about her wedding day, and I had no idea whatsoever of what it took to pull off a decent wedding.
We were away on a mini-break and it was just so lovely to have a few days to ourselves, taking it all in and talking about all the ideas and possibilities. This by far was my favourite thing, having that excitement and just being able to really get my head around what it meant and take a chance to just be excited about what the future holds.
I’m huge on planning and organisation anyway, so as soon as we were back from our mini-break and had shared the news with family and friends I got the notepad out and made a start. Please don’t do this if you can avoid it. You have all the time in the world to get down to the nitty gritty of planning, so just enjoy the celebrations and really bask in your newly engaged bliss. I [promise the venues and guest lists will still be there in a months’ time!
I feel like now were 8 months in, and have about 15 months left to go were in the really fun part of it all! We ticked off all the main things pretty early on, and decided to take the approach of lots of research, make a decision and book it, then not think about it until we need to. This means we know we have all the bones of a good day, and now we just have to look into the details and anything a little extra.
I have seen many fellow brides and grooms to be second guess and change their mind and I have even done this myself. I soon realised there will always be alternatives, there’s always going to be a photographer with more awards, or a venue with a prettier garden, but you can’t forget you booked it for a reason, and as long as you were confident when you booked them they will still be as amazing as you had thought back then.
This attitude only really manifested itself when looking for The Dress. In the industry anyway there’s so much pressure put on a wedding, but on the Bride especially it felt quite hard. How do you know you’ve got The One? What if you change your mind? There are so many gorgeous dresses out there, personally if I had the opportunity to wear them there are about 12 I could have gone for! In all honesty though, all you can ask for is a dress that makes you feel absolutely incredible and unstoppable when you try it on, because that’s how you should feel on your wedding day. I did that thing that everyone tells you not to do when you first get engaged and I bought a wedding dress 4 weeks after getting engaged. I was adamant I didn’t care about a dress, I wasn’t going to spend a silly amount on a single dress, and it didn’t matter to me enough. The dress I got was gorgeous, and everything I had wanted on paper. Problem was every time I tried it on, as the weeks and months after buying it had passed, I just didn’t feel me. I didn’t feel confident and strong, like I could walk in the room and not feel uncomfortable. So I kept looking, and found one that did make me feel fantastic! I know a lot of women feel quite uncomfortable about the dress process, but please just don’t be so hard on yourselves and take your time.
It’s so easy to get caught up in these details, they are what make the planning process seem fun, but you don’t need to add to the pressure you’re already under. Being kind to yourself is SO important during this time. Your partner asked you to marry you because they love you, and they want to be with you for the rest of their lives. They aren’t saying they will only love you forever if you have a great wedding dress, a candy cart and a photo booth.
We still have so much to do, and I’ve been on a hiatus since around Christmas. I just keep moving things on my To-Do list to the next month, which isn’t ideal as I’ll start running out of months at this rate!
I’m counting down to a brilliant day with all my loved ones, but I’m more excited about the thousands of days that follow where I get to say I’m married to my best friend.
I'm a qualified wedding planner dedicated to designing & creating weddings for alternative couples. Because everyone deserves a wedding as unique as they are